Today I was in Starbucks, in America of course, and saw a few kids being completely disrespectful, complaining, even as their mother bought them a drink that cost at least $5 each. They kept asking for more and more, never happy with any reply even when their mother offered them anything they wanted.
I sat and watched.
My heart sank. I wiped a teardrop from my now wet mascara-filled eyelashes and smudged my make-up. But I didn’t care. It took me back to this……..
I thought about all the children I have been with over the past year, the brokenness, the poverty, the weak.
When I was with those munchkins sometimes I wanted to push them away. They nagged me, they grabbed my hair, they rubbed my skin, they were dirty, they smelled, their teeth rotting, they had rashes, they had no shoes, they wanted my jewelry and my money that I didn’t have. They yelled, “mazungo!!!!!”..always (meaning white person.) What a nuisance right?
I miss it.
I miss the precious little ones that smiled at me all the time, that were so joyful I couldn’t help but smile, they were grateful for a hug, for a bracelet, they wanted to know my name, know where I was going, by the age of 3 they are caring for their family, they were simple with hearts bigger than mine.
I miss the little girl that sat on my lap snuggled in my arms and head laid perfectly on my chest as I feel her heartbeat even when she smelled like urine and got dirt on my skirt. With her sweet sweet smile I didn’t want to let go– and still don’t. Everything else seems to fade away as I rock her and whisper in her ear…”princess, you are loved.”
These are moments that I feel love.