I am not who I was.


Last Saturday was THE DAY I received my Yoga Certification after tons of focus, study and determination! =) YAYYYYY!! We spent all day long learning, moving, and talking Yoga, lifestyle and about how amazing that God is the center of our WHOLE being.

Over the past couple of months I have been physically restricted to many things.  I have not been able to lift weights, I can’t even do all Yoga poses because even that can bring too much stress on my upper body.

WHAT?! Can’t even do yoga moves??

I used to think that Yoga was dumb because it wasn’t “tough” enough. I thought everything needed to be intense to be getting a good workout. Now I can’t even do all the poses.

It was interesting how it all happened and it feels like it came out of NO-WHERE (isn’t that always how it works)! One day it caught up to me and I felt like I was in need of more espresso or big adjustments from my chiropractor.

I wanted this pain and tension gone..NOW!

Any time I felt better I would work my body just a bit harder only finding myself needing to sleep all the next day and wanting to do NOTHING because I felt sick and exhausted.

AHHHH..What is wrong with me?  I immediately went to the doctor to take a ton of blood tests to see if I had a virus, mono, or something else..anything?!  Nope..couldn’t find anything.

After a couple of weeks trying to figure it out I went to my long time Chinese/western doctor/ acupuncturist as well as heard from a great physical therapist/massage therapist that over time my upper body was getting over worked in various ways such as: backpacking, exercising, weird body positioning, strain, stress and tension, and my muscles began to weaken.

Going back to the day of our Final Yoga Intensive Training– we entered a hard mental/emotional moment we didn’t expect.

We each were given a question, sheet of paper and some time to reflect finding myself surrendered flat on my face!

What is the ONE thing that is keeping you from being healthy? 

Hmm…1st I think food, exercise…I didn’t know how to answer.  Then it struck me.  Most of the time even in our deepest desires for God to reveal something we end up praying.  I shut up, stopped praying and started listening.

 “You are not who you were physically, mentally or emotionally and you can NO LONGER carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.  You are a NEW Creation.  You need Me (God) and you need people.”

For so long I have been the one that was physically capable of IT ALL.  I could do 65 push-ups in a minute, I could carry men on my back (even in heels), 20, 30, 40 year old men wanted to me train them at the gym because this small/strong lady “knew what she was doing”.  I emotionally and mentally took everyone’s weight.

But guess what!?  That’s NOT who I am!  It’s who I was.

Now, it’s OK if I can’t physically carry 7 gallons of milk at a time, or the need to say “yes” to everything.  I don’t need to join every outreach team, or fill up every hour of every day.

I am not who I was.  I am a NEW creation.

I have to tell you that after letting go of “who I was” and just a month of massage therapy, the right chiropractic work, and at home tension releasing exercises and not over using my upper body I am healing fast!

Wow, there is something about being broken over and over again to realize there is healing in each of our brokenness–whether physically, emotionally or mentally.

And there is something about being humble enough to
let it go.

What is the ONE thing in your life that is keeping you from being Healthy?


This entry was posted in Faith, Healthy Living, Motivation, Thoughts, Yoga and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I am not who I was.

  1. Jesse Singh says:

    I have to get better at eating healthier. You are what you eat and your body is your temple 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s